Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dancing with Anger

Anger used to dominate my behavioral reactions to situations in life. Since 2006, I have put in a lot of time and effort to improve that reality and make anger less of a factor in my life.  I hate being angry because it has so much potential to escalate to  unhealthy levels. I enjoy being kind to people and understanding of people. Occasionally, I find myself feeling as though that kindness and attempt at gentleness get mistreated.

Nonetheless, efforts to minimize my anger and be more constructive have, for the most part, paid off. I have noticed a lot less volatility in my life over the past five years. I’m very grateful to a short list of counselors for helping me establish boundaries and find constructive expression. Progress aside, I still dance with anger from time-to-time and when that happens I feel like I’m Dr. Jekyll, transforming into Mr. Hyde. I thank my dad for showing me, through his own stories and experiences, that being angry is not how I wanted to live and counseling helped me work that out.

Now, when I dance with anger, it’s almost hard to believe that I can still go into that anger zone. Dancing with anger is an honest reminder that I can make progress in my life, I can seek a low stress and laid back way of life, I can be as gentle as they come, and I will never eliminate the ability to tap into anger because of the sin condition.

Finally, consider this as a thank you to those who have paid me compliments, telling me that I am “articulate” and an “inspiration;” I’ve been really thankful for those kind words because they remind me there is decent stuff to fight for in life. Although, I may not combat my anger flawlessly, fighting against the dance with anger is better for my health.

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